More Time Travelling Celebs!?

Hello loyal readers!

Well, I’m waiting for a lasagne to cook again, and you know what that means:

I get to finish telling you about time traveling celebrities!

What do you mean you didn’t read part one? Well it’s right here, what are you waiting for?

Are you done? Good.

Ahem:

Jack Black

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No, Jack Black is not Paul Revere, don’t be preposterous. However, that hand-on-face gesture that Revere is always depicted as doing does come from Jack.

I got to hang out backstage at a Tenacious D concert a few years ago, and listening to me talk about time-space manipulation really blew Jack’s mind.

He said to me “dude, you actually peel back the canvas of time? Man I feel like I’m partying with Chronos here! You have to take me back with you!”

Well, I suppose I have a weakness for flattery. I agreed to take him and his band back for one evening to perform wherever and whenever they wanted, and they chose to perform for the patriots during the American Revolution.

It was on this night that Paul Revere met Jack Black, and it was Jack’s wish that Revere have his signature pose as a gift for his contribution to American independence.

Nicolas Cage

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Okay, I admit it, Nicolas Cage was the Emperor of Mexico from 10th April 1864 to 19th June 1867.

I ferried Cage across the timeline purely because, well, I’m kind of his biggest fan.

I approached Nicolas, introduced myself, and told him I could take him to whatever period of history he desired. I offered him all the popular destinations in the timeline; the fall of Rome, The Sermon on The Mount, The Great Fire of London… But Nicolas just looked me straight in the eyes and said: “Mexico. 1864.

Well, who am I to say no to Ghost Rider himself?

Turns out he had a goal in mind. Cage had already researched Maximilian I of Mexico, and was aware of his uncanny resemblance to the emperor. Keen to experience the life of a South American monarch (because, why not, I guess?), Cage made a simple deal with Maximilian I; Nic gets to be Max for a bit, Max gets to be Nic for a bit.

I wouldn’t usually have allowed this but, well, I really do have a hard time saying no to Mr. Cage.

Anyway, Nicolas Cage turned out to be a kind and benevolent ruler, for what it’s worth. Maximilian I was known for some modern ideas and liberal reforms, including restrictions on working hours and the abolition of child labour and corporal punishment.

All of these innovations actually came from Cage, who, like any great actor, had really thrown himself into the role of Maximilian I and seemed to really care about his subjects.

However, whilst Nicolas may have turned out to be a good emperor, Maximilian did not prove to be the greatest actor.

Cage has been accused of wildly inconsistent performances throughout his career, being called great at his best and downright baffling at his worst.

The lapses in quality are actually due to Maximilian.

In some films, the actor everyone took for Nicolas Cage is in fact Maximilian I of Mexico just giving it 110% (the two really do look alike).

Max’s presence is perhaps most obvious in the now notorious “how’d it get burned!?” scene from The Wicker Man, which features what everyone assumes was Cage doing his level best to appear mentally unhinged.

Wait a minute – burned…

Burned! My lasange, she’s ruined! Again!

Well, this is the last time I try to write a diary entry whilst I’m cooking, I’ve learnt my lesson.

*sigh*

Quanto’ out…